FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT...

Hold it there…she ordered herself….Just let it be…breathe…breathe…breathe….

The bus took another steep turn, Harika sat tight, and her toes drew in automatically, her fists clenched as she closed her eyes….just breathe…she nagged herself as she sat by the window…

She looked out at the beautiful scenery outside, all the fog, the tall mountains with their foggy linings, the lake beneath in curvy wavy patterns…she dint deserve this, why was it so beautifully mocking that she liked it, but could’nt enjoy it…for a moment her stomach forgot to bother her, another steep turn and she was pulled back to her seat…breatheeeee….she took another deep breath…

Her neighbour passenger had her books open and seemed to be doing some last minute cramming for the test they had to take  immediately after reaching collage…she looked at ease everywhere, at the scenery, into her book, closed her eyes for a moment and seemed to revise, she looked at harika and smiled, a casual stretch of her lips…harika managed to smile back…she was only worried, she would let out that she was having trouble even breathing….she dint want that, no ways…last tjing on earth, she dint like to make a scene… ‘burp’ and she felt better…only until the bus took another turn and the air was swooshing on her face with a tinge of the lake’s smell from underneath…..

It tingled her nose and she drew a lemon  from her bag and smelled it, also popping in a chewing gum…while thoughts like ‘why me’ flooded her mind…she was always a puky kid who made fun trips all smelly whenever she was off with family and had them mock at her later…it was routine by now to carry lemons, gums, and ginger extracts wherever she went…she shouted the ‘why me’ in her mind and remembered to take breaths, simultaneously smelling the lemon….

Harika drew her headset and played some soothing instrumental music she had in her phone when she decided to sleep, and she started imagining and faking the Good feel and ordered herself to Breathe…little did her friend know, she was lost in her own fight, trying to fit in, be like everyone else and not let the heights, curves or smells matter…in that slow process of drawing in air and giving out, she fooled herself to feel nice, feel as if it dint matter, like It was not going to affect her, ‘Naa…I’m good I’m good…she literally spelled out…

And it seemed to work….she suddenly got this prepared for nothing feeling, there was anticipation but no trouble…whow..she sighed and remembered to breathe and not give the impression that she was up to something… with whatever was that she was doing…This got her  thinking of something she heard before…she started joining the threads and along with the bus, she seemed to be going somewhere….arriving somewhere…

This relief was so similar to what she felt after  workout or after just running and gulping in loads of air…there, it was a  consequence of proper blood circulation, synchronized breathing  that energised  every cell…

Whereas here, she just sat fighting back puky sensations and trying to not just feel normal but feel ‘Good

…she was aiming for something high, that seemed not so possible, given the circumstances and by attempting and faking, she made it?

All she was doing was creating the happy feel in her body physically…when it was actually not present…she was creating the pseudo feel, that worked out easy breath, easy life feel because the crisis was demanding it???

She had to tell herself, it’s not only going to be okay, It’s also going to be great in just remembering to feel good and practice it again with a  couple of deep breaths….

That Reaching inside and Uplifting sensation was very very same in both the cases….as she was totally distracted by this Eureka moment, she could smile at large at her neighbour and actually enjoy the view…while she just wondered, so is this what they say about…’FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT’!

Are our bodies already designed to listen and adjust to their higher goals…and If you have ever given relaxed and happy sensations to your body…can it just remember and relate and fool you to keep you happy….am I making sense she wondered as she remembered the patronous charm from Harry potter…dint they just conjure a happy moment, and the merrier it was, the stronger the spell and more the effective in ridding the demontours, the happiness sucking creatures??

So, can we focus and use happiness in our Lives to make another not so happy moment better? To face our fears? To conquer what seemed imposible…It just felt like that…That maybe with the way we are designed, all adaptive, we could just bring in happiness to where it was not present and actually bring it…By forgetting the thin line of difference there, could we merge it? By aiming high, pushing up a bit and telling oneself its okay, actually do it?

What were we fighting against? Our own preconceived notions? Our own barriers of Impossibility? Our own excuses for No’s??at that moment, the scenery seemed even more beautiful to harika…it wasn’t mocking at her, It was encouraging her to blend in…That’s it…she felt more in sync with the Universe, with herself…and enjoyed the rest of the curves, happy in her own thought process feeling like ’Nothings Impossible’…it was one of those moments she could smile at just anybody!:)